What's So Great About Magikarp?
by vuarapuung
Summary: Dawn decides she wants to kiss Ash, but Ash seems far more interested in other things.


**DISCLAIMER: ****Pokémon**** is the property of Nintendo, Game Freak, 4kids, etc, ****etc,**** this story has been written without their permission**

_**What's **__**So**__** Great About **__**Magikarp**___

He was down by the lake again. She didn't know why, but for some reason he always seemed to be drawn to water. Which was a bit strange, because he'd never really seemed particularly fond of water. He just liked being near it.

Dawn had to admit, the view across the lake looked beautiful. The moon seemed to strike the surface in such a way that made the lake shine, so that she could see various Pokémon breaking the surface of the water every now and again. It was such a clear night too. Almost like the perfect setting for a young romance...

Of course, the boy in questions sitting beside the lake had no interest in romance or the lake. He probably wouldn't know true beauty if it walked up to him and did a little naked dance in front of him before throwing a punch...

Dawn seriously considered trying just that for a moment. Thankfully the moment passed. So she put back on the shirt she had been in the process of removing.

And the bastard hadn't even looked up.

It was utterly ridiculous! Here she was, a beautiful young woman taking her shirt off, and he was more interested in watching a bunch of Magikarp jumping in and out of the water. Dawn puffed out her cheeks in frustration.

Stupid, handsome bastard.

But Dawn had an idea. I sly yet vague idea that would only be attempted by someone who had a tendency to rush into something without thinking it through, but an idea nonetheless. She reached up to check her hair one last time, before slowly making her way over to him.

"Hello, Ash, how are you?" she asked. Ash glanced up from where he had been staring at the Magikarp. He took one look at her and evidently decided the Magikarp were more interesting, because he turned back to watch them.

"Nothing much," Ash replied. "Just couldn't sleep, is all." That was it. Dawn was silently furious that Ash didn't return the favour by asking how she was. She decided to tell him anyway.

"I couldn't sleep, myself," she said.

"Nervous about your next Pokémon contest?" Ash said, though from his mouth it almost sounded like he believed himself to be stating a fact rather than asking a question. Dawn felt like huffing again. Why did that boy always assume that just because all he ever thought about was Pokémon, everyone else was the same? Dawn shook her head.

_Remember the plan._

"Something like that," she said. "Do you mind if I join you?" Ash gave her a look that seemed to scream one word at her.

The word in question was _meh_.

Deciding that that was the best she was likely to get, Dawn made her show of sitting down. She deliberately did so in such a way as to give Ash a view of down her shirt if he was to just turn his eyes six inches towards her. But Ash apparently had no such desire to look down her shirt, as he continued watching the Magikarp.

"What's so great about Magikarp, anyway?" Dawn demanded of him. "It's not like they're any good."

"All Pokémon have their strengths," Ash replied. His voice was filled with passion, the kind of which a real man might talk of a lover. "Magikarp may be weak, but with love and training they'll evolve in the powerful Gyarados!"

Dawn was painfully aware that Misty had a Gyarados, as Ash may have mentioned at least four times a day. It was annoying. But it was something that Dawn knew she could use to her advantage.

"Ash, you've never had a girlfriend, right?" Dawn asked. Ash cheeks suddenly turned the same colour as the Magikarp. Dawn gave a mental cheer at her achievement.

"Well, no. Not exactly," he replied sheepishly, though his eyes were still glued to the Magikarp.

"And you've never been kissed, right? I mean properly kissed, by the way. Not on the cheek by your mum, or something," she added, sensing what he was about to say.

"Pr – properly kissed?" Ash asked.

"Yeah, like, on the lips."

"Er... yeah."

She hadn't expected that. She'd always thought he'd been too hung up on Pokémon to ever notice any girl, let alone kiss them.

"Was it Misty?" she asked.

"Wh – what?" he spluttered, somehow finding a way to turn an ever deeper shade of red. "Wh – where would you get an idea like that?"

"Nothing, it's just you talk about her a lot... _a lot_." She watched Ash for a moment, gauging for a reaction. Now at least he was looking at her, though his eyes had glazed over slightly. "Well, if it wasn't Misty, who was it?" Ash snapped suddenly back to the real world. He looked very nervous.

"You know my friend Tracey?"

"What, you're gay?" Dawn blurted out before she could stop herself. She'd never really thought about it as a possibility, but it did sort of make sense. Why else didn't Ash seem interested in girls?

"No!" Ash replied. "He tricked me. He told me that girls practice kissing all the time, and it was totally _not_ gay. Then he tried to slip me the tongue."

Dawn couldn't help herself. Suddenly she was laughing with no way to stop. She laughed until her sides burned. When she'd come down here she'd never thought Ash had any previous experience with kissing, much less from a guy.

When at last she was able to stop and catch her breath, she asked him another few questions.

"So, you've never kissed a girl?" He shook his head. "Would you like to?"

In the time Dawn had been laughing, Ash had managed to lose some of the colour in his face. At Dawn's question the blood went rushing back to his cheeks.

"Not necessarily with me," Dawn lied. "Is there any girl you'd like to kiss?"

Ash's eyes had misted over slightly again. Dawn sincerely hoped he wasn't thinking about Tracey.

"You know, I could help you," Dawn said. Ash once again came crashing back down to reality.

"Wha?" was the only response he seemed able to muster.

"Well, Ash," she said as seductively as she could manage. "You'll be seeing this girl again sometime, right? And you'd like to kiss her then, right? So, maybe I could give you a little bit of practice, as Tracey called it." Ash looked at her.

"And this isn't gay, right?"

"DO I LOOK LIKE A GUY TO YOU?"

"No, sorry. I didn't mean it like that. It's just, you're my friend. Wouldn't it be weird kissing you?"

"No," Dawn replied shortly, still angry at Ash's comment. "No. But if you think it'll be weird, just imagine yourself kissing the girl you want to kiss instead of me." She shuffled up closer to him. He gulped.

"So how does this work?" he asked.

"Turn around slightly," she commanded, though not exactly sure what to do herself. She helped him turn slightly on the spot so they were facing each other, with their legs intertwined. "Now, you just lean forward and... kiss."

The main thought in Dawn's mind was that Ash was taking his mighty sweet time kissing her. He seemed to be nudging forward ever so slightly. Eventually Dawn gave up and threw herself forward, locking lips with him.

Tragically, Ash had no idea what he was doing, and Dawn was hardly experienced at this herself. She tried poking her tongue forward to see how he'd respond. For a moment he pulled back but Dawn caught his hair in his hand, pulling him closer. His mouth flew open, allowing her to slip her tongue up against hers...

And the bastard bit down.

Dawn squealed and pulled back, touching a hand to her tongue to make sure there was no blood. She then proceeded to slap Ash around the head a couple of times, just to make sure he never did that again to any girl.

When she'd come towards the lake she'd had the intention of kissing Ash. Now she was leaving the lake with the strong intention of killing Ash. She was halfway towards getting her Pokéballs when Ash grabbed her arm and pulled her into another kiss.

This time it was his tongue at her mouth. All thoughts of horrible revenge slipped from her mind as his tongue did some slipping of it own. She moaned softly as he took charge this time. He was a fast learner.

Their lips parted only for a moment.

"Oh, Misty," he groaned.

He was kissing her again, but this time the thoughts of a horrible revenge did not leave her mind. She was plotting Ash's untimely demise when she realised that thinking about Ash didn't really do it for her. So she tried focusing on other people she knew.

Paul... no.

Kengo... no.

Brock... hell no!

Zoey...

Good God. That certainly did it.

"You were thinking about Misty," Dawn said when they broke apart.

"Yeah," Ash admitted, looking guilty.

"It's okay," Dawn assured him. "I was thinking about someone else too." She saw the curious look on Ash's face and decided it was only fair she tell him. "Zoey."

"A girl?" Ash asked. "Isn't that, like, gay?"

"Oh my God, that is so hot," a voice that sounded suspiciously like Brock's said from the bushes.

"Pika pika," another voice added, though it sounded more sceptical.

"So when you said this kissing thing wasn't gay, you lied!" Ash exclaimed.

"Yeah," Dawn admitted. "I suppose so." There was a long silence.

"So, now what?" Ash asked.

"We go back to the campsite and pretend this never happened," Dawn said. "Then in the morning we put something in Brock's food for spying on us."

"Sounds good," Ash agreed. "You go first. I just want to stay and... watch the Magikarp for a while." Dawn left, casting one quick glance at Ash's trousers. He was obviously lying...

He couldn't like Magikarp _that_ much.


End file.
